Living Like A Monk

Day 1 – Arrival

I’m sitting in the parking lot at the Georgia O’Keeffe Center in Abiquiu, New Mexico mildly distressed to see my 4G signal drop to a one bar 3G signal hoping my last Instagram post will go through. “Can I do this? Can I actually spend 6 days in a Monastery with no internet, no t.v., no cell service, and limited electricity?” I’ve been fascinated with the idea since reading Jesse Itzler’s “Living With the Monks” but I’m rapidly beginning to realize it’s one thing to read about something and quite another to do it.

I wait another 15 minutes for the post to finish uploading and decide to go through with it. I head west and am curious why Google Maps is saying eta is 1 hour and 15 minutes but I’m only 25 miles away.

About 12 miles outside Abiquiu I pass the stunning landscape surrounding Ghost Ranch, Georgia O’Keeffe’s famous ranch where she painted many of her works and where many movies have been filmed, including “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade” and “City Slicker.”

Google Maps eta 56 minutes – distance 13 miles, WHAT!?!? AS I turn onto a one lane dirt road it doesn’t take long before I realize if it only takes 56 minutes I will be lucky. To say the surface of the road is like one of those old fashioned washing boards would be an insult to the washing board. The maximum speed is 15 mph but I don’t really mind because I am surrounded by Mesas which are slate color at the top and work through the natural color spectrum before finishing with a reddish brown base layer. Juniper trees and sagebrush dot the desert floor.

After a spine shaking 4 miles I enter the Chama National Forest and I hear what sounds like a jet engine. I can’t really place the source all I know is that I am climbing and the road is getting narrower. As I round a curve, praying no cars are coming in the opposite direction, I see the source of the jet engine sound and realize this is the US version of “Deadliest Roads.” I’m about 50-60 feet up on a one-lane road on the side of cliff with a “Watch for Falling Rocks” sign on one side and the raging Chama river on the other.

I catch myself being hypnotized by the majestic surroundings when I feel my front tire bump out of the worn tire rut on the road. I make a quick correction and yell out loud “focus on the road!!”

Google Maps eta 20 minutes – distance 5.5 miles. I’m just beginning to get the hang of this when I notice two cars coming in the opposite direction. Thankfully, every 300-400 feet the road widens by an extra 2 or 3 feet to allow such passings and mine goes off without a hitch.

Finally, I see a sign informing me that I am leaving the National Forest and within a few minutes the Monastery and guesthouse come into view.

I’ve been informed via email that there is no formal check-in process, just go to your cell (room), unload, and then move your vehicle to the designated parking area. So I pull up to the guesthouse and see a guy coming out of the courtyard and I say “hi, is this where I unload?” I’m a little perturbed when all he does is look in my direction and nod and then he continues walking. I’m thinking “what was that all about?” Then I realize he was wearing something around his neck and I remember something in the email about how some guest wish to remain silent throughout their stay and those wishing to do so will wear a lanyard around their neck. “So, that’s why he didn’t say anything. Man, I really need to go over the rules before I do anything. else.

I go through the courtyard and find my cell, room #8. It’s actually at the far end and kinda by itself. I open the door to my 8′ x 12′ cell and admire the ascetic room. There is a large hand-crafted solid wood bureau with old fashioned hitches. As I look around, I realize everything in the room is solid wood and probably hand crafted. I notice three laminated yellow sheets on the desk titled “Welcome and Blessings.” This booklet contains all the rules. As I read through it, I’m pretty familiar with most of them, quiet time after 7:30 p.m., meals in silence, try and be as quiet as possible in your room. But, honestly, the one that has me worried is the “no shorts” rule. I’m worried because there is only a common bathroom and to get to it I will have to cross the courtyard and walk past eight or nine rooms. I think, “what if I have to go to the bathroom really bad and I am in my shorts and in my room? Am I supposed to put on my long pants and then put on my shoes before going? What would be the penalty? Surely they wouldn’t ask me to leave, would they? Oh well, I’m not going to worry about that now.” I finish unpacking, park my car, and walk the 1/4 mile to the church area.

I look in the church and no one is in there so I go next door. This building contains a gift shop (they welcome approximately 30,000 guests a year), the building also has several other rooms and the refectory.

As I open the door I see one! It’s an actual monk in full robe! Remembering my first encounter I’m wondering what to do, is there some ritual? My mind is racing when I hear “hello.” I snap out of it quickly and realize the greeting came from the monk , HE SPOKE! I returned the greeting and explained that I was a guest and that I had just arrived. He gave me a warm welcome and invited me to Vespers which was about to begin in the Church.

I returned to the church and saw several people sitting down. Then I see monks come out of the Sacristy, a word I had only recently learned. There were probably fifty monks in total. Half of the monks went to the right and half to the left. Then “knock-knock” and everyone stands. I see everyone else holding a hymnal so I locate mine and open it. Then the organ sounded a note and the monks began singing. Not in the modern notion of singing, but in a more measured tone.

I finally find the location in the hymnal, thanks to the person next to me, and quickly realize this isn’t like any hymnal this Southern Baptist boy has seen. Those don’t look like any notes I’ve ever seen in a song book. (I later learn that this is a perfectly correct notation, but I had no idea at the time) The majority of the selections were Psalms and hymns from Ambrose, Gregory, Benedict, and others. These are old songs. Most of the songs were written over 1300 years ago. The majority have been translated into English but there is still plenty of Latin. During one of the songs written by Ambrose and dated around 397 AD, I can’t stop thinking about the history. This song was written just a short time after the official persecution ended and the Benedictine’s have been singing it for over a thousand years. As the songs and Psalms continue for the next 30 minutes I resolve to embrace the experience, what’s the saying? When in Rome….(although that takes on more a literal meaning here).

Once Vespers has ended a very tall monk approaches us and asks that all of his guest follow him.

He leads us over to the other main building and through two sets of doors into the Refectory. There in the center is a buffet with several homemade dishes. The largest bowl is a huge fresh salad (something I notice is served at each meal from which everyone is expected to take a large portion). Everything is delicious, which surprises me, I guess I was expecting only bread and water. By the way they make their own bread and sell quite a lot of bread cookbooks. But I digress, I load my plate full of salad and sit next to the other guest, the monks sit facing us on the other side of the room. It is here that I make an astonishing discover – when everyone is eating in silence, biting down on a fresh bell pepper sounds like someone is banging a gong. At least that was how it sounded to me when I took a bite. I was sure everyone was looking at me as I contemplated how much more chewing was needed before I could safely swallow. Thankfully, no one was looking in my direction and I made it through the salad. Once we finish we put our plates and silverware away and return our napkins to their rightful place.

SIDENOTE: When you enter the Refectory there is a box which looks like an old fashioned hotel mail box. Each slot has a room label and inside is a napkin. Before you enter the Refectory you go to the box and grab your napkin and when you leave you fold it and place it back in the box.

As I went outside I heard a bell ringing and some of the other guest informed me that Compline was about to begin. I returned to the Church and found a different hymnal on the seat. This one had A LOT of Latin, I follow along with the English translation. Toward the end of Compline, we sing another Ambrose song written in the late 4th Century. One thing I have come to realize is that too often we read names like Jerome, Gregory, Ambrose, Benedict, and others and we just view them as these towering historical figures, but reading their songs I come to realize these were just men, men who lived in difficult times, men with deep faith, and men who had a deep love for their fellow man.

After Compline it is officially “Quiet time.” I make the 1/4 mile trek back to my cell and decide I will turn in early because I want to experience the next day like the monks do. I turn in …it’s 9:00 p.m.

12:15 a.m. – I awaken with a shocking realization – I have to use the bathroom, BAD! “Why did I drink four glasses of water at dinner?” I know there isn’t time to find my long pants, fasten my shoes, and get my flashlight. I am sleeping in shorts so I decide I will do a James Bond and sneak across the courtyard and by eight rooms just in my shorts. I slip on my sandals but don’t fasten them, a mistake I will come to regret shortly. I quietly open my door and look down the corridor, no lights – good. I begin my stealth mission to the bathroom and to my horror I hear “CLIP-CLOP-CLIP-CLOP” it’s my sandals! Since I didn’t fasten them they are acting more like flip-flops but I am committed now so I double my pace clip-clop-clip-clop. As I reach the bathroom I hear a door opening, I quickly go inside but don’t turn on the lights. I finish my business and silently open the door – all clear. Only before I begin making my way back to my room, I’m taking no chances this time, so I grab my sandals and quickly sneak back….after all there are no rules against bare feet.

Day 2 – “Living Like a Monk – Almost”

Before I begin let me state that no one is required to attend any services. they host people of many faiths or even none at all but I’m here and I want to experience everything.

I’ve been told Vigils, the first service, will be extra long since it’s Pentecost Sunday. I set my alarm for 3:45 a.m. and prepare to live like a monk.

3:50 a.m. DING-DING-DING I hear the bells and it’s pitch dark outside. I grab my flashlight and trek up to the church for Vigils which begin at 4:00 a.m. All night I have been wondering what are we going to do – are we going to stand in silence for an hour and a half? I make my way to my seat and we begin singing Psalms. I have learned that when you come across the words “Gloria Patri” or “Glory to the Father” you bow until the statement is finished with “and to the Holy Spirit.” To my utter surprise I really enjoyed this service. Surprising because it is soooo early. The service ends at 5:15 a.m. and the next service is scheduled for 6:00 a.m. I choose to remain in the Church since it is 45 degrees outside and I don’t feel like walking back to my room just to turn around and come back; not mention I don’t have a coat with me.

6:00 a.m. DING-DING-DING Lauds begins with more songs and Psalms. It lasts for 45 minutes. At the conclusion of Lauds, Bro. Benedict, the Guestmaster, leads the guest to the breakfast area. After getting a bite to eat I realize that I can get a quick hour and a half nap in before the next service. I know the monks weren’t napping but I have decided my “living like a monk” will be defined by attending all the daily services.

9:00 a.m. DING-DING-DING It’s time for Terce, ten minutes of reading Psalms and prayers.

9:15 a.m. DING-DING-DING Time for Traditional Roman Catholic Mass, a fascinating experience for me. Mass last for an hour and half and is followed by a reception in the guest area. This is the only occasion you have to spend “free time” with the monks. It’s interesting seeing the monks lounging on the couches and smiling and visiting with everyone. I guess I thought monks would always be solemn and silent, but I realize they are just human like everyone else.

11:30 a.m. DING-DING-DING It’s time for Sext, a 10 minute service followed by a light meal in the Refectory.

1:00 p.m. Nap time! I’m beginning to realize these monks keep serious hours! This is Sunday so no work period but during the week they will complete chores during the hours between the services. Man, being a monk seems like hard work!

4:00 p.m. DING-DING-DING None begins and for the next 15 mintues we recite Psalms and ancient songs and prayers. After the service Brother Benedict leads us to the Refectory for the main meal.

The main meal is unlike the buffet. It is clearly defined in the “Welcome” package and you are expected to follow protocol. This is a time for the monks to serve and they take that very seriously.

We enter the area outside the Refectory and grab our napkins, we then proceed to the guest side of the Refectory and place our napkins on the table as we remain standing behind our chairs. There is small song sheet in front of us, I pick it up and follow along as the Abbot sings a song and prayer. We are then seated and the monks on kitchen duty line up with hot plates and proceed in front of us. There is no talking so if you want the food they are offering you nod and they will stop. They will make their way serving around the Refectory and then come by a second time. During the meal one monk is discussing a certain theological point. Today’s topic is medical ethics. After about an hour the Abbot rings a bell and the monk speaking says “to be continued.” He then reads about the Martyrs who died on this day. Once he finishes the Abbot sings a song and prayer and everyone is dismissed.

5:30 p.m. DING-DING-DING Vespers and Benediction. We sing Psalms, ancient songs, and prayers for 45 minutes.

It’s 6:15 p.m. and Compline, the last service of the day, begins at 7:30 p.m. I decide to just sit on the bench outside the guest area and wait. While I’m there Brother Benedict comes and visits with me. He tells me how he has just started reading “Death Comes for the Archbishop.” He says he is only on chapter 4 and has been reading it for 3 months. He says he likes to take his time and really appreciate the reading and besides he stays pretty busy most of the time. He also tells me that he has started watching “Breaking Bad” and that he really enjoys it, but the favorite program at the Monastery is “Downton Abbey.” He tells me that the Abbot and several older monks discussed starting a lecture series on the issues raised in the series but the younger monks weren’t as excited about that idea as he lets out a small laugh.

One things I have noticed is that the monks tend to speak very deliberately in a very calm tone. Even during the “free” time when the monks spoke with one another it was in a very calm manner. I decide to ask Brother Benedict about the monks.

He informs me that there are about fifty monks mainly from Asia and Africa. He says they don’t get many from Europe. I mention how it seems spirituality, especially Christianity, is receding in Europe and he agrees and says it is also receding here in the US as well.

He tells me that since he was eight years old he has wanted to be a monk which seemed an impossibility given he was raised Missionary Baptist. He tells me he has been a monk for 15 years. Fascinated, I ask him how he made a successful transition to the monastic life and he informs me that he is still making the transition.

Now I decide to drop the big question, “What has been the biggest thing you have learned?” He thinks for several minutes and says “just live each day. I quit worrying about becoming a great monk, what I needed to do next year and the year after, I just decided to live each day as the best monk I could be.”

His answer reminded me of Augustine writing about how God is always found in the present and that is where we should always be.

Brother Benedict tells me he has enjoyed visiting but he needed to check on another guest who locked his keys in his car and has been waiting three and a half hours for a locksmith.

7:30 p.m. DING-DING-DING Compline “Completion” is a 15 minute service of prayers and Psalms.

As I walk back to my cell there is so much to process. The peace and serenity of the monks, how they have to learn to get along with one another, their kindness and infectious smiles, but what I mostly try to process is their dedication – monk life is demanding!

I crash on my bed, flashlight nearby, and decide that the next day I will just be silent and process today’s events ….and catch up on some much needed sleep.

Day 3 – Silence

I set my alarm for 4:00 a.m. to try and get a good picture of the Milky Way. This area is ideal for such an attempt. The night skies in Northern New Mexico are teeming with visible stars.

At 5:00 a.m. I went back to sleep and decided to sleep in; no surprise given the day before. I attended a few services and decided to camp out on the wooden bench overlooking a mesa and the river and just take in God’s majestic creation. I probably didn’t speak 15 words to another person. I just wanted to watch the river and think about how I had been blessed, especially with friends and family.

One interesting observation – at one of the meal times a group of visitors attached on to the end of the guest line. Brother Benedict didn’t say a word and just led them into the meal area. When the people realized they pulled out their wallets and tried to give the monks money, but Brother Benedict kindly refused. These guys really take that “as much as you did for one of these you did for me” verse seriously.

On a side note – I do not miss technology. I’ve read that humans crave connection and social media is no substitute, in fact people are more lonely than ever. It’s strange, here, even though there is so much silence, there is so much connection.

Day 4 – Dad (Personal Day)

There is such a calming presence in this place, everything has slowed down and I am trying to appreciate all the little things. Today is a special day. My dad passed away in March of this year after a long battle with an illness. After his death, I was in a state of just trying to hold everything together and to take care of my mom and sister and make all the arrangements. I really didn’t have time to grieve. As I was sitting on my bench overlooking the river, I took the time to reflect on my dad and his life. I was thankful for the years he was with us and how we had grown really close during his final year. As I walked through the meditation garden I vowed to always let those I love know they are loved.

Later in the afternoon I spoke with a monk who had spent 28 years as a nurse in rural African villages. I asked him if he ever encountered any serious infectious diseases. He said they were careful with hygiene and education helped them escape any widespread Ebola outbreaks. He said their biggest killer was malaria. He said he had it several times but where it is really deadly is in the children. He said that for 27 of the 28 years he was there they would lose several children each year to the disease, but he felt they were making advances because the last year he was in Africa was the first year they didn’t lose any children. Unfortunately, he was advancing in years and his health had deteriorated to such a degree that he had to return to the States. The monks invited him to live with them, which he gladly accepted.

I’m not sure how it works but I overheard him tell someone he was a hermit, meaning he went into the world and served others. Not belonging to any particular monastery he didn’t know where he would go once he got sick. He said he loved it at the monastery but would go back to Africa in a minute if his health was better By the way, he was probably in his mid seventies.

6:30 p.m. Back in my room and was wondering what was going on in the outside world then I thought why am I concerned about it? I’m not saying I should cut myself off from politics or current affairs but just keep everything in perspective. I think about the times I would go to Facebook or Twitter and get upset because of some political discussion. This week has really taught me to keep things in perspective.

Day 5 – A Mental Lapse but Otherwise A Great Day

7:00 a.m. It’s hard to believe I have been here five days. I thought time would slow to a crawl but actually it is zooming by.

7:45 a.m. Early this morning I hiked down to the river and watched the geese. I could have stayed longer but the mosquitoes were out for blood, no pun intended. Brother Benedict said there has been so much snow that they have been sending more water than usual through the Chama Valley and the river had risen several feet as a result. Good for Colorado, but it created a breeding ground for mosquitoes. I will make sure and put repellent at the top of my list for the next visit.

8:15 a.m. An elderly visitor said he has been coming out here all his life. He said the monks bought the property from an old cattle rancher. He went on about the special properties of Chama Valley and how it is one of the “greenist” valleys in the southwest and how there are still working cattle ranches around.

1:15 p.m. At lunch we had the Abbot from the Pecos Monastery as our guest. Although, they are Benedictines as well, they wear white robes instead of black. Brother Benedict suggested I visit the Pecos Monastery on my way to Chaco Canyon (I told him I was going to be traveling there). I secretly suspect he is gauging my interest level in monastic life LOL!

2:00 p.m. As I think about returning to modernity tomorrow it seems like a switch is turned on reminding about the things I need to do and the calls I need to make. It isn’t long before I get restless. Soon I am looking at my arm wondering if I can draw it, next I find myself turning my camera toward my face and blowing up the eye pictures to see if I can see cataracts. Finally, I catch myself and bring myself back to the present.

Vespers is at 5:30 p.m., until then I plan on spending time on my bench overlooking the river.

4:00 p.m. It is amazing how you can adapt to your surroundings. There have been a lot of visitors and I have played the part of tour guide and picture taker. I’ve spoken to more people this afternoon than I have in the last five days.

6:20 p.m. Meal time – as always the monks have prepared a great meal. I have noticed that nothing goes to waste. The evening meals are usually some new version of the leftovers from the main meal.

I accidentally made one of the “vow of silence” people speak. As we entered the Refectory and formed a line I motioned for him to get in front of me, he said “no thanks” then immediately rolled his eyes and looked down….I kinda felt guilty.

7:30 p.m. Compline, haven’t been in the last few days but decided it was very appropriate tonight.

Day 6 – Departure and Final Thoughts

Woke up at 6:30 a.m. and showered. Put on long pants and went to breakfast. It was odd – on the one hand I was ready to leave but on the other I felt a sense of loss. Brother Benedict visited with me for a few minutes and wished me well.

Went back to the guesthouse area and changed into shorts for the drive. On the way I noticed a cross next to the edge of the “Deadliest Road” which reminded me to stay focused.

Evening – El Dorado Resort, Santa Fe- Something really strange is going on. I should be really tired but I can’t fall asleep. I don’t know if it is the hum of the electric motors around that I usually tune out or the sounds from outside but it’s SO LOUD! Last time I remember seeing is 3:30 a.m., up for 21 hours.

SIDENOTE: I didn’t realize until the next morning that I hadn’t turned on the t.v. or watched anything on my tablet.

I’ve had several days to think about my time at the Monastery. While I was at the Monastery I was able to meet people from all over the world, Chad, Ireland, Vietnam, Australia, and many other countries. Each one was there to nourish his or her spiritual self and to seek connection. It is strange but in this technologically connected world people seem more lonely and disconnected than ever. We forget that our spiritual self shapes every aspect of who we are. We need to take time daily to seek that connection.

I’ll end with a story of a conversation I had with Brother Benedict. One day we were talking and he was telling me how they had just gotten electricity four years ago. Once they got it they were excited but to his surprise many former guest said they were reluctant to come back because the electricity ruined the experience. He was then saying how he wished that cell phone companies would put up a tower nearby so they would have cell service. I told him I didn’t think it would be a good idea because part of the appeal is that there is no cell service to create a distraction. He looked at me puzzled and with all sincerity said “I don’t understand, if people don’t want electricity turn it off; if people don’t want to be distracted by their cell phones , just turn them off.” Maybe that is the best advice we can follow – just turn them off.